somethings got to give!

Grrrr...1/2lb on! Yet another bloody gain - whats happening to me?

I need to find a way out of this slump - my head knows what it should be doing, but my hearts not in it.

Not good.

Bug-ger...

woke up this morning with a vile headache, spent most of the morning on the loo (perhaps I should WI again today!) and the rest of the time feeling sick, dizzy and very tearful. Hmmm, a bug methinks - might also explain why I havent been myself this week!

I forced myself to have 2 x crumpets for breakfast, as I thought the feeling sick/dizzy was down to not eating.
wrong.

I've been drinking herbal teas, but its now gone lunchtime and I cant bring myself to eat anything - not a good start to my being 'back on track', but cant be helped I guess. I shall aim to keep up my water consumption in any case, if nothing else it will help flush me out...

Thank goodness for the weekend - nothing planned for this one, so intend to just go with the flow and hope this bug passes quickly.

have a good one people!

Lardy Da...

WI this morning brought everything into sharp relief, with a 1.5lb gain, how did that happen? (rhetorical question)

OK its been an bit of an emotional couple of weeks, and I know some of it will have been comfort eating, but even so, no one force fed me the KFC I had last night.....which I didnt want, and was hideous btw, and when all else fails there is always the word 'no'.

meh.

I desperately want/need to motivate myself, and I am trying, but nothing seems to be happening! What is wrong with me!

I stayed to meeting today, and even that had no effect. I have a WW magazine here that I bought a couple of weeks ago, and I have yet to read it. I've thought about reading it, but I just cant pick it up - its almost like I have a mental block. Twice today I have thought - I'll go and read that in a minute, but then I dont....and I am not even sure what I have done instead!

Does anyone else ever get like this? How do you get yourself out of it?

I really need to get back on my game, but while I know what I have to do, and can sit here talking about it, I cant seem to put the words into action.

tempus fugit.....

yikes - so long since my last post!

Its been a busy few weeks, and I seem to have got out of the habit of everything 'weightwatchers'.
No planning, no pointing, no tracking, no drinking of of water- losing that first stone was more luck than judgement I think!
The only thing I have tried to do was go to meetings to get weighed, but even that wasnt always possible. I'm just thankful not to have put weight on!

Exams and interviews over, my young people can now quite deservedly relax and enjoy their summer, and I can hopefully get myself back into the habit of tracking etc - and more importantly blogging. I didnt realise quite how much getting my thoughts and feelings down, helped me make sense of it all!

The upside is, I feel that my body shape is changing and people are starting to notice....possibly because I am not wearing my usual big, shapeless, baggy t-shirts over jeans, and am actually making a bit of an effort! I still reckon I look like my Dad in drag (love him), but hey, baby steps!

I need and really MUST start staying to meetings, rather than the rush in, weigh, rush out regime of late - it cant be helped, or at least in couldnt be in the last few weeks, but I had no excuse for bunking off last Thursday.
I had intended to stay, really I had - I'd even got myself a cuppa, but then something (or should I say someone) happened.
There is a member who (quite irrationally) bugs the sh*t out of me...she would dominate the whole meeting if the leader didnt shut her up. I am sure she is a very nice lady - certainly she seems very popular, and there can be no denying she has lost a lot of weight, but her nasal whiny voice cuts through the air like a knife, and I swear will make my ears bleed if subjected to it for too long.....btw - did I mention I am hormonal?!
Oddly enough a Gold member who knows everything there is to know about WW and who has lost and kept off a mahoosive amount of weight for years, seems to annoy most folk, yet I find her very interesting....horses for courses eh?

RIGHT! I need to get over this silliness and FOCUS ON ME, not anyone else.

trying again!

Yesterday I spent ages typing up the ins and outs of my bank holiday weekend, then for some inexplicable reason lost the lot when I hit 'publish'. ...there's a message in there somewhere Debs!!

The potted version (kinder to your eyeballs):

I've had a fantastic few days, and have probably been very naughty in the scran department, although I have mostly tried to be sensible.
I made a conscious decision not to point/track while I was away in Amsterdam, didn't drink, but ate too much of the wrong things I am sure. I've done loads of walking since Friday, so am hoping that's off set any dietary naughtiness.

Not had a car again today, so wasn't able to get to WI - probably just as well! I am back to pointing/tracking/guzzling water, like a pointy/tracky/guzzly thing.

I was a bit ticked off to find that one of the terriers had chewed my Wii controller in my absence. That'll teach me for leaving it out - thankfully I have another.
Talking of which...I feel a boogie coming on!

things that make you go 'ooooh'....

... although in this case it was more like 'oh'.

I lost a 1lb, which was a bit short of the 1.5/2lb I was hoping for to break through losing that first stone. While this is a bit frustrating, I appreciate any loss at all, and next week will be my week!

I couldn't stay to meeting this week, as I had a friends memorial service to go to - people are dropping like flies around me, which is a bit disconcerting, but which also kinda put things into perspective.
I also had a couple of unexpected NSV ( the concept of the NSV would have amused my friend greatly). In rummaging for something 'suitable' to wear in my wardrobe, I came across a pair of black trousers I had only tried on a couple of weeks previously, but had rejected as too tight back then.
Much rummaging later, and I decided there was nothing for it, but to wear the tight black trousers, with a long top, and just hope we didn't have to sit down too much!! I was delighted to find on putting them on in the morning, that not only did they fit, but were comfortably loose!

I had a while to spare before heading off for the service, so I decided to input my WI result onto my weight tracker. I had to smile when up popped a little bouncing grey star, announcing I had lost 5%! Suddenly my little WI cloud had a ray of sunshine peeping through it!

I'm looking forward to a trip with Himself.com to Amsterdam next week. Its only an over-nighter, but I get to pamper myself, while he is in his meeting, and later we can do a bit of sight seeing together. if nothing else its a change of scenery!


have a good weekend x

the post with no name....

The palpitations have started! WI tomorrow and I am so desperately wanting to have lost 2lbs to take me through that first stone, and I shall be so cross with myself if I have gained...no point stressing before I've even stepped on the scales...but of course I shall!
I'm wittering.

If nothing else last weekends 'BBQ-gate' has shown me how easy it is to wibble off track without even thinking, and the good thing is I have been tested several times since and haven't succumbed.
There has been half a bounty in the door of the car (left there by Himself.com)for the past week and this evening I insisted he either finish it off or bin it. I couldn't even trust myself to throw it away you see - Bountys are a weakness and it was like a Siren calling my name....Debs....Deeeeebbbbs......
Having picked up #3Son following his trip with friends to watch the England game, we then had to pootle back to Brighton to pick up #2Son who had been to a rock gig. En route we had a couple of scheduled stops for a Costa coffee (as predicted!) and general nose powdering brought about my uber water consumption . On our last stop we concluded that #2Son might appreciate something to salve an attack of the munchies brought about by physical exertions in the Mosh Pit.
M&S had 2for4 quid buckets of rocky road mini nibbly cakey type things... and the deal was done. Worry not, despite having them on my lap for the rest of the journey none passed my lips...that isn't to say I didn't consider it mind! I warned the family today, that if they didn't finish them off pronto they'd be in the bin covered in washing up liquid (rocky roads not family!). They didn't need telling twice ;o)

I was chatting to Himself.com about my admiration for people who can treat themselves to a curly wurly or a small crunchie (or whatever tickles the fancy), but I cant trust myself to stop at just one! A treat to me, is like a green light to stuff as much 'contraband' into my mouth as possible like some kind of demented homo sapien/hamster hybrid...cheese or chocolate I'm ya gal!! I wish I could treat myself but much better just to abstain....I am a martyr to it ;o)

As its the end of the month I am trying to use up things we already have rather than buy more - if that makes sense.
Breakfast:
2x ww roasted peanut bars 3.5pts
(met up with a friend for breakfast and rather than be tempted by a bacon or sausage roll took the above in my bag)

Lunch:
Ham and philadelphia salad sandwiches 6.5 pts

Dinner:
Tuna pasta
garlic bread
cheese
ww double choc brownie desert 13.5pts

options belgian hot choc 0.5pts

2ltrs of water

I've only saved about ten points this week, but I have tried throwing my bod about whenever possible although its probably best not to linger on that thought!! I hope its been enough though...I really do.

The pen is mightier than the sword.....(Harvester pt2)

Following my complaint to the parent company regarding our recent Harvester 'experience', I received an email this morning, apologising and telling me I should get a personal call from the manager of the offending branch within 7 days. I have to give credit where its due, I had a call this lunchtime, and further to the managers credit, he didn't try schmoozing, or making excuses for the inexcusable - I respect that.
The upshot is, we (all five of us) were invited back for a meal, courtesy of the manager/Harvester, by way of apology...and of course it would have been churlish of me to refuse LOL.

The sun is still shining down here on the sunshine coast, and I've been making the most of it while it lasts, so most things are being done outside! I think I even caught a few rays while I was cleaning the vacuum...which is not as daft as it sounds (even for me!) My upright Dyson gave up the ghost the other day, and Himself.com finally wrangled the small pull along one out of the barn - although I note the extension pipe and attachment are missing, so another expedition is called for! Anyway, it was covered in c-rap, so I gave it a good overhaul outside in the sunshine - which, coincidentally, allowed me to ignore the dust bunnies that are rolling menacingly across the floor in the house! It looks like the housework will have to wait another day, because the washable hepa filter takes 24hrs to dry. shame.

Being busy means I find less excuse to nibble that which I ought not be nibbling, so I managed to extend the period between breakfast and lunch by an hour.

Breakfast:
2 weetabix 2pts
1 banana 1.5pts
milk 0.5pts
Lunch:
Plain Bagel 2pts
philadelphia 2pts
smoked salmon 2pts
Dinner:
ww chicken and lemon risotto 5.5pts
(I am hoping this isn't as revolting as it looks on the box - time will tell)
snacks:
crumpet and marmite 1pt
half fat butter 0.5pts
panda liqorice (x3 oops) 4.5pts

predicted(and predictable):
Costa Skinny Latte 1.5pts

I shall try and be a bit more exciting with my food choices tomorrow

two days on the trot have seen me demolish 2ltrs of water, over and above my usual beverage consumption - now if only my bladder would get used to it, its playing havoc with my sleep patterns!

when she was good she was very very good.....

and when she was bad.....she totally cocked it up!
I am hoping I haven't CIU totally, but it wont be for the want of my demons trying, so I am going for damage limitation and being ultra good, upping the fluids and exercise for the rest of the week! With a bit of luck and prevailing wind I can pull it back by WI on Thursday.

Like many other people, we are making the most of the weather and used the BBQ all weekend....uh-oh. I made a big mixed salad, and did the prep, while Himself.com embraced the whole caveman/fire thang...actually that's a bit unfair, cos he does his fair share of the cooking throughout the year, and not just when we whip out the BBQ!
We went to a local butcher and got the meat there: 'proper' sausages/burgers, chicken and ribs.
Salmon fillets (I put it in a foil parcel with a little garlic, ginger and squeeze of lime) and bread rolls from the local supermarket completed the menu.

I confess I had a sausage - I didn't mean to, it just fell into my mouth y' honour.I have no excuse, I don't usually 'do' sausages, but they smelt sooo perdy, and the taste didn't disappoint either! It was real MEAT! I also had a chicken thigh and a salmon fillet and the salad.
Because I wasn't sure what to point a 'proper' sausage at, I just wrote off the 17 points I had left for the day (inc the rest of the meat/salad), but even with saved points feel sure I will have been well over.
I am beginning to think my bod cant process a lot of meat, because it went through me very quickly :o(
The next day I was much more restrained. I had salmon fillet x2 and a mixed salad (with a hard boiled egg this time) BUT I also had a meringue nest with squirty cream and mandarins (the latter tinned/in juice). The cream was for the rest of the family, and I'd bought myself half fat creme fraiche, but could I find where I had put it, even after turning the fridge upside down? Nope.

The creme fraiche later leapt out of its hiding place and hit me on the head (literally!), but of course, not before I had consumed the squirty cream!!

Back to 'normal' (using that term loosely) today.
Breakfast:
Bran Flakes 30g, 1.5pts, Banana 1.5 pts, splash of semi skimmed milk 0.5pts

Lunch:
Salmon Fillet (left from bbq) 3.5pts, tortilla wrap 2pts, hard boiled egg
1.5pts, salad 0 pts

Dinner:
Stuffed Baked Jacket Potato (lardons, onions LC Light cheese) recipe planner put it at 5.5pts. salad 0pts.

after snacks that leaves me with 7pts saved, which I hope will help my plight come Thursday.

I finally got round to having a go at 'Just Dance', which nearly finished me off, and I had only done two dances - not even the really difficult ones! Must try harder - but not now cos its too bloomin' hot!

I read on someone else's blog that their pedometer plus had reset mid use, I thought that a bit odd, till it happened to me today! I had kept checking to make sure I was on track for BPs, and sure enough it had thrown a wobbly and gone back to the beginning! If I could afford to sulk I would ...after all my thrashing about too...dammit, the earth is still moving!!
gotta love technology eh?

Doing the Happy Dance!

I wish I could bottle this feeling and dip into it when I am feeling at a low ebb.

There have been times this week, when I could easily have said s*d it, I'll have X,Y or Z (or indeed X,Y and Z!), that'll make me feel better, but I didn't. I kept my head down and ploughed on - and its paid off.

4.5lb off this week, which puts me right back on track after two not so good weeks of a sts and +1lb respectively.

'Remember why you are doing this' really resonated with me last week, and made me even more determined to reach goal.

This coming weeks Mini Goal:
I have 1.5lb to lose to gain that second silver seven, and more importantly lose that first stone! I am aiming for a 2lb loss, so I 'do it in style', but frankly I'll be happy with anything :o)

At least I wont be worrying that I have sabotaged myself with the meal we went out for last night - quite apart from the fact I had pre-pointed what I was having, I only ate the side salad and a fillet steak. The potatoes (they still gave me chips even after I had requested new pots, so had to get that changed) and veg were colder than the salad, so I left those and I had no starter, no pud. I was also violently ill as soon as I got home, so not sure any of it will have counted!

Onward and downward then .....

When will there be a Harvester, for the world....

Meh.....not quite the Isley Brothers, but the thought was there.

#3Son turns 16 today - where did that time go?! I am now technically redundant!
We always try to have a family meal out to celebrate birthdays, and although I am sure I could have come up with something more exciting, have decided on a Harvester, cos I know I can plan and point that...and it's WI tomorrow!
In case you are wondering, - #3Son was asked where he would like to eat out and the grunts (I think) translated to 'I don't mind, you choose'......

I'm meeting a friend for breakfast this morning, which is easy to plan and point. 2x bacon (2.5 pts), 1 grilled tomato (0 pt) and one slice wholemeal toast/tsp half fat butter (1.5 pts)

Lunch: Ryvitas - (pumpkin seed and oat) x4 (3pts) with Laughing Cow Light Cheese (Stilton) x4 (2 pts).

I've already had my 'elevenses' cos I was peckish at 6am, and didn't want to wait another 3.5 hours for breakfast! So....Go Ahead Crispy slices x2 (2pts) .

That leaves me 15 points for dinner out, and I ought to be able to have a nice meal for that if I point what I have from the salad bar as my starter, and skip dessert. It helps that I am not a big dessert person, so I wont feel deprived on that score!

I think we all deserve a treat after the trauma of last weekend, - it will do us all good.

The sun is shining down here on the 'sunshine coast' - and I hope it is where you are too, have a great day :o)

weekend from hell...long

Don't you just hate when life throws you a curve ball - well that's just what happened this weekend!

Friday evening we drove #1 and #3Sons up to friends in Uxbridge, and from there they were going on to watch comedian Simon Amstell gig in Camden - this was a birthday present to #3Son (16 on Wednesday) from their pals. There was a group of them going, including a parent of their friends, a lovely lady I've known for years.

Himself.com and I stopped off at a supermarket for some bits (which took some time as I was armed with my calculator but no reading specs), and then pootled back to Brighton.

We stopped off on the way back to pick up a McDonalds for #2Son, and Himself.com, and I was pleased that I wasn't even tempted as I was looking forward to the ham salad sandwich I'd planned for myself. The rest of the evening was spent watching tv - for some reason I thought there was a double episode of 'Ashes to Ashes on' and although was a bit miffed there wasn't, enjoyed the episode that was on, and am looking forward to the finale next week..

I guess we went to bed about 11 ish - for some reason we were both cold, even though it wasn't if you know what I mean.
I was woken at about 2am by himself.coms mobile going off, and can remember thinking 'FFS, can they really not leave him alone til office hours' (he's got a lot going on at work atm, and it seems only he has the answers!). Then my blood ran cold as I could hear him saying, 'O.K son, stay calm, you're where? I'm on my way!!'

By this time I was wide awake and half dressed! I still had no idea what was going on, as Himself.com had nipped into the bathroom, saying he'd 'tell me on on the way, but not to worry!!!' Too bloody late mate!
The phone rang again, and I answered it, it was a nurse who explained she was 'from the A&E Dept, at Hillingdon Hospital, and was looking for verbal permission to administer pain relief to #3Son and he is under 16' WTF???

It transpires that they had been to the Simon Amstell gig, had a fab evening - they'd had front row seats and were 'targeted' by the comedian, which of course will have added to their evening.
They took the Tube back to Uxbridge and a few of their group wanted to go and get something to eat. My boys said they didn't feel comfortable as there seemed to be tension in the air in the town centre, so it was decided the parent would go with those who wanted to get something to eat, and the boys would make their way home with one of the friends - something they have done many times before - its is the 'nice' side of the town.
Unfortunately, by some freakery, they were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and were passing a pub just as a rowdy group were being thrown out - who decided to take out their frustrations on the lads.

My boys and their friend, did manage to get away (thankfully all together, and in the same direction), but not before they'd been given a bit of a beating.

We arrived at the hospital at around 3.30am, to find our boys shocked, bruised and bit bloody, but in good spirits considering their ordeal! #1Son has a broken nose, and #3 a large lump on his head, and possible concussion....but of course things might have been so much worse!

The friends Mum of course was blaming herself, but I doubt very much if things would have been different had she been there - in fact it might have been worse had they all been together...like a 4' 10" mums presence would have made any difference to a bunch of drunken louts!

We drove everyone back to the friends house accompanied by the sound of dawn breaking, so our boys could pick up their stuff, and say their goodbyes to the rest of the group who were waiting anxiously for their return.

#3Son asked if it was OK if he stayed on til the next day as originally planned- they had a shopping trip scheduled for the next day, to get their shirts for the England game they are going to. Difficult though it was for us as parents, we agreed to let him stay, as we'd only be making ourselves feel better by having him home, and would be punishing him for something he wasn't responsible for, so we arranged to pick him up later that evening..

We made our way home with #1Son (who was going to get the train home that morning in time for work in any case) and finally fell into bed at about 10am, having first fed watered and exercised the dogs. Got up at about 1.30, and phoned #1Sons employers to let them know he wouldn't be coming in and why.

In the scheme of things, tracking was the least of my worries, but in some strange way I found comfort in it, and although I was under by 13 points by Saturday evening I still resisted a McDonalds, when we stopped to pick one up for #3Son when we collected him later that evening! Hmmm....makes it sound like all my lads do is eat junk - I do cook for them, honest!

Although I wasn't really in the mood to go to the working test on Sunday, I was supporting a friend who had arranged it, so got up at six, leaving Himself.com to catch up on some much needed Zzzz's.
My girl worked well for me, and just missed out on the awards, but that never bothers me, its just good to see the dogs go through their paces. Out part of the competition had finished by lunchtime, so the afternoon was spent chatting and laughing with friends, which never fails to lifts the spirits.
I had pointed my packed lunch, and had prepared a Lasagne for the lads, all Himself.com needed to do was cook it through. I had a low fat version when I came home, with a nice mixed salad on the side.

My water consumption has been well down, and other than an major adrenalin rush on Friday/Sat; a bit of yomping up hill and down dale, and belly laughs aplenty (gotta be activity points in laughing surely!!) on Sunday, things haven't quite fitted my 'Masterplan' for this week!!

Roll on bedtime - I am knackered before I start!

If things dont change, they stay the same.....

...and stay the same they did!

I know a STS isn't too bad, but in the scheme of things - when you have as much to lose as I do, a 1lb on last week, and a STS this week, is going to hurt, psychologically if nothing else!
So.... things have got to change!

I need to look again at what I am doing, and how I am doing it....so as a start: instead of just having a ham sandwich (ww malted danish bread), for lunch I had the ham sandwich, but packed it with zero point salad and beetroot too. I'd forgotten how delicious a salad sandwich can be, and it made all the difference to how 'satisfied' I felt.
Last night, I made a roasted BNS soup (skins left on, for added fibre), with home made chicken stock, and I had a mug of that on the side. I was especially pleased with myself, because I usually make it in the morning when I come back from getting everyone where they need to be. Which is all very well if I'm not running late or distracted, but if I am - and I have the attention span of a gnat these days (sadly not where eating food is concerned!), it can be way past lunchtime before the soup is ready. Unless I have some soup in the freezer, I can easily fall prey to 'the munchies' - telling myself 'I'll just have this to keep me going....'
Although I do try and point the 'keep me going' stuff, I think its much better to prepare something, then sit down and eat it, rather than eat on the hoof.

I was due to make a Thai Curry last night, but realised there were only three of us eating (himself.com away at a conference, and #1Son off recording), which meant there would be far too much, and its a temptation to have a larger portion.....if you know what I mean!
It does kinda beg the question, if I recognise the traps, why do I continue to fall into them? I'm quite proud of myself for avoiding that one though - cos it would have been quite easy to believe I could have been trusted to have a 'normal' portion!

Making it to the meeting today (thanks to the generosity of the ww leader) was great. Had I not gone, and next week showed a gain on the scales, I'd probably have thrown the towel in, and if I had lost weight, would convince myself that I could get away with weighing in every other week - does that make sense? At least I know what I am dealing with - and when I do have a good loss next week, it will because I have made a concerted effort to do so!

Looking forward to that Thai Curry with brown rice tonight now :o)

the 'all clear' siren has sounded...

Its OK...its safe to come out now!

The stabbiness* subsided yesterday, as a large wave of calm washed over me, which must say quite took me by (pleasant) surprise, and I am back to being 'me'. I hate this hormonal sh*t, when will it end? I can remember my mother suffering as she went through the change - I wish I knew then, what I know now, but of course at the time, I was a seething mass of teenage hormones...no wonder we clashed so much!

* perhaps I ought to have made this clear at the start, but it bears clarification (just so you don't feel you have to grab your loved ones, run indoors lock the windows, and hide when you see my blog 'walking' down the cyber highway) I don't ever feel the need to actually stab anyone - its just the way I refer to that hideous hormone surge that makes this usually sane, calm, good humoured and rational woman, want to scream! Your knives, and loved ones, are safe with me!

Right, that's that bit out of the way :)
I think I have been very good this week, I have pointed and tracked - BUT, I think the area that will let me down is that I haven't actually done much exercise this week, as we have been down to one car, which meant I spent most of my days driving (living in the middle of nowhere has its downsides!) family where they need to be, and of course they all need to be different places at different times! My water consumption has been non existent too, although I've prob drunk as much in herbal teas....

One of the big stresses for me this week, was how on earth I was going to get #2Son to college for his exam this morning. Himself.com is away on business today and tomorrow, leaving me car less.
Its a good three quarter of an hours (we usually allow an hour) trek cross country to the nearest village and the bus stop, and the bus he would need to have taken to get him there on time would leave the village at 7am....schlepping across paddocks at dawn in goodness knows what weather, isn't really conducive to arriving in the right fame of mind for a maths exam! I was on the cusp of ordering a taxi to get him to college (about 30 quid!), but my friend offered to pick him up and take him - which was really lovely of her, because it really is way out of her way, and he can of course bus it home :) It also meant I could send him off having had a 'proper' breakfast, to set him up for the morning.

I would also have to miss my WW meeting & WI (also miles away cross country, and up hill to boot), which although upset about, was kind of resigned to. Personally, I would prefer to know if I have stuffed up again this week, rather than leave until next week to find out and fix...does that make sense? But I knew there was nothing I could do about it, and resolved to produce a great loss next week.
I was telling my friend on FaceBook who is also a clerk at the meetings, that I'd text the ww leader to give my apologies and was both I was surprised/delighted when she (ww leader) text me back, offering to pick me up as she would be passing this way on the main road. Great!

I feel so blessed to know such nice people.

As I am 'trapped' at home today, I have plans for myself. I shall walk the dogs in shifts around the paddocks - as opposed to the usual pack walk in our woodland, and when I have done the essential housework bits, will finally get the time to have a session on the new wii fit dance game I bought at the beginning of the month and haven't yet had time to try.

I also need to get out with one of my dogs this afternoon and do a bit of training with her, as we are entered in a working test on Sunday - we haven't done anything in the way of working competition for a couple of years, so that should be a laugh if nothing else!
The good thing about working tests, is that you have to bring your own packed lunch, so easy to control what goes in the mouth!
The only temptation there might be is if a friend passes around her usual array of cakes she's made.TEMPTRESS! Delicious though I know they are, I also find it quite easy to decline cake...now if she had cheese on on offer it would be a different story!

Right, I better get one - lots to do :)

have a good day all xx

Move along now...theres nothing to see......

Apologies in advance. I am feeling even more hormonal now....and particularly stabby - which I know probably isn't the kinda thing you want to be reading on a weight loss blog, but I guess its all part of the bigger picture, as the stabby bits are when I am at my most vulnerable food wise!

The weekend wasn't as bad as I had envisaged, the road trip was straight forward and stress free, thanks to the M6 toll road, which was paid for by my travelling companions as their contribution to the trip. I confess I couldn't resist a couple of skinny latte's on the way up (well a girl has to stay awake somehow!).
I 'd planned and prepared my food for show day and had taken a couple of bananas - one for my 'breakfast' and one in case I started flagging in the afternoon. Midday was to be tuna light lunch (3pts), which i had never had before, but had seen other people eating at shows, so thought must be OK. It looked so pretty on the packaging, but in reality looked far less appetizing .... in fact even the dogs gave me a 'WTF?' look. Thankfully, it tasted much better than it looked, which saved me from tossing it on the nearest bin, and heading to the 'barn kitchen' restaurant for a high fat replacement, which would doubtless have put me way over on points!
I also took a tub of my latest delicious low point treat favourite- Sainsbury's sweet potato and harissa dip (2 pts for the whole tub), and cassava chilli snacks- just right for dipping. I didn't eat it all myself, as I offered it round, and it went down very well.

I'd left Himself.com the makings of a chilli con carne for dinner, but had thought ahead for myself there too, leaving myself a ww chilli/wedges, to throw in the microwave on my return.

It was a nice day out among friends, and the dogs did very well in their classes - the bitch gaining a 1st, and the dog a respectable 3rd in good company...so I cant grumble at that.

Sunday I had to travel to Southampton with my young bitch to have her hips x-rayed (one of the health tests I commit to, as a responsible breeder), and was delighted to see they look good - so waiting for the 'score' to come back from the BVA, wont be so trepidatious! More confessions!!!I hang my head in shame at having a McDonalds Hamburger on the way home...I don't even like McDonalds, but for some reason I really enjoyed that! I am a Wrongmo for sure!
I did point it btw (6pts), but felt so guilty, I deprived myself of the lamb roast I was doing for the family, and had a ww steak and mushroom pie instead (a whole new level of 'weird' that was too!), which was 6.5pts, with some zero pt veg, and portion of jersey royals.
Thinking about it, I was probably no better off by having the pie, but it eased my guilt....

There's a lot of stressful 'stuff' going on atm, and I am wrestling with my demons - so far I'm on an even keel, but it really isn't easy.









-

I have hormones and I'm not afraid to use them!!

I keep telling myself that a 1lb gain, isnt the end of the world - then why does it feel like it is?

STS was the best I could have hoped for this week, I knew that.
I knew too it was my own fault...no one force fed me that pasty etc at the weekend. I am my own worst enemy, and I just cant seem to stop sabotaging myself.
I made a conscious decision after WI yesterday, that I wasnt going to point for the rest of the day - athough I was pretty sensible about what I ate, BUT now I am cross with myself because I didnt track, and am in danger of thinking 'oh b*ll*cks to it', I'll start again tomorrow!
Equally, I know its a slippery slope my demons want to pull me down, so I really need to be strong, and get right back to tracking today, and start throwing water down my neck too, as I find that really does help me with the hunger pangs.

It doesnt help that I'm all hormonal - just feel so tired, seem permanently hungry and I need a bloody good cry. Sometimes it sucks being a woman.

I'm glad I stayed for the meeting yesterday, the theme this week was 'motivation'.
Never was a meeting theme more well timed - thank you WW! I really needed to hear 'remind yourself why you are doing this' - and you know, only a month down the road, I realise I had already lost sight of MY reason for taking this journey.

I must plan for tomorrow - up at an unearthly hour to travel up country to a show. I've already blogged about difficult those days are, so you'll know how important it is for me to 'be prepared'.

x

Crumbs!

Whoever said that if you 'break a biscuit in half, all the calories fall out', lied.

That is all.

Baptism of Fire (well, flood actually!)

Hmmm. I seem to have taken my eye off the ball this week - especially where water consumption is concerned....and to make matters worse, for a couple of days 'pointing' was non existent, although more a case of not eating them all than eating too many - which is probably just as bad!
Today, I seem to be in permanent hunger mode - maybe I was a locust in a former life?
I deliberately had a 'proper' breakfast (2 rasher grilled bacon, grilled tomato and toast made with ww bread) so that I had a decent start to the day, and although I did have it quite early, by 9.40, I was dipping in my low points snack drawer for nibbles!

Tomorrow is WI day, and I have to say I am resigned to my fate this week....apart from being bloody cross with myself, there isn't much I can do (other than track like a demon from now on) that is going to make a whole lot of difference to tomorrows outcome!

Its not like I was out all over the weekend drinking (despite the photo on my facebook page - which was staged for comic effect, honest!) and stuffing my face - in fact if I had, I would probably be crosser!
Saturday was when the 'trouble' started.... we were off in the caravan to a two day game/country fair where we do demos and educate interested folk about the dogs and how they work etc. I was given the caravan by a (lovely) friend when she upgraded hers at the beginning of the year, and although 'old', it is in fantastic condition (wish I could say the same for me!).
As the show ground is relatively local to us, we thought we'd set off at around midday, drop the caravan off at our pitch, and then go and help set up the marquis...well that was the plan!
The 'conversion coupler' which I had bought on the Friday, in order to allow very new car to pull very old caravan, was the wrong one, and a 30 mile round trip to exchange (car packed to the gunnel's with dogs and kit) it followed. Now you would have thought having got the right part, we would have been on our way - but no.
The lights on the 'van wouldn't work, and after half an hour or so of muttering, and stomping it occurred to Himself.com that he might have forgotten to 'flick the switch' on 'vans control panel. I had no idea there was even a switch to be flicked, but I smile benignly, and even managed to refrain from excessive eye rolling when that was indeed found to be the cause....finally, we were on our way.....or were we?

We had gone about 15 miles, and Himself.com (trying to sound casual) mentioned he may have forgotten to take off the caravan hand break.....he pulled over and sure enough he had!

Did I mention we are new to this caravanning lark......?

Four hours later than planned, we arrived on site in a deluge of wind and rain, and headed straight in to the showground, caravan 'n all.
The rest of the group were soaked wet through, having battled the elements to put up the tentage, ....I don't think we were very popular getting there just as they finished!
As there was nothing left to do, we went to pitch up at the camping area, just in time for it to stop raining. we had a cuppa, ran the dogs, who had been sitting patiently in the car for hours, and then decided (as we had nothing else to do) to try and attach the awning!
I say 'try', because my friend had advised she had never used the awning - she had bought the 'van second hand herself -, and had no idea what condition it would be in, or if all the 'bits' were there.
A couple of hours later, and with the help of the smashing couple pitched up next to us, we finally managed to work it out and up it went in all its spacious glory!
It was about 8pm by the time we realised neither of us had eaten since breakfast, and so I put a couple of lasagne's (not ww) in the oven, I ran the dogs again while they were cooking, we ate our meal, and fell into bed exhausted.

Day one of the show was a complete washout, wet and windy, and boy was that wind bitterly cold! I felt sorry for the stall holders, as the only money they can have made, would have been from other stall holders or from exhibitors like us. Despite having had a bacon butty for my breakfast (with ww bread), and wearing 6 layers of clothing under my coat, I was so cold and miserable by lunchtime, I succumbed to a large pasty, and a small slice of bread pudding.......
The main arena had all sorts of demos going on all day, but many were cancelled - the birds of prey wont fly in the weather that presented itself, and many of the vintage cars, couldn't even get onto the show ground due to the conditions underfoot. But us dog folk are made of sterner stuff and carry on regardless.....even if there is no one watching!
I tell a lie. Himself.com counted a total of 6 people around the huge arena, although when pressed, admitted he'd included himself in that number...
Usually we do a gun dog parade after the demos, show casing all the different breeds, and then people come over and ask any questions to the owners of those breeds that interest them. To that end we do the parade at around 3.15pm, to allow plenty of time before close of show at 5.30pm. If I tell you we were back in the 'van by 4 o/c having given up the ghost, you will have some idea of just how dead it was!

Thankfully the 'van has a great heating system and even though it was lovely and toasty, we were chilled to the bone. 'Dinner' (neither of us had the energy to cook) consisted of two huge sausage rolls (himself.com), and two small quiche type things, which were allegedly stilton and broccoli (me), and were so shallow, the filling was debatable! Having taken the dogs out so they could let off steam, we settled them down for the night, before tidying up and once again, falling into bed exhausted.

Day two was better weather wise, although it was a lot windier than the previous day, and the many rain and hail showers were blown away fairly quickly, allowing the sun to peep through between the many downpours.
Thankfully people braved the weather and came out in their droves, many of them making a day of it and enjoying all the things the show had to offer.

We decided to buy our lads a McDonalds on the way home as a treat (and cos neither of us could face cooking) and a thank you for looking after the dogs that stayed home.
I am pleased to report that I had a ww meal when I got in - although I will admit to having a slurp of Himself.com's milkshake!

If you've made it this far - thanks.
I don't know what to make of my eating this weekend, I thought I had planned well, but it went out the window!

I've got a show this weekend too - which reminds me I have dogs to groom/trim/bath, and I do have a plan for that - let just hope I stick to it!!

Got it taped...

WI today wasn't what I'd hoped for...only 0.5lb off this week - I was secretly hoping for a bit more, but beggars cant be choosers I guess! I couldn't wear my 'usual' trousers today because they were falling off me, so I wore a pair of lightweight jeans, the waist of which was dangerously close to sliding down over my hips - not a good look! I had to wear a belt to keep them up, which is quite heavy, so its a good job i took that off before I got weighed, or you could be faced with much weeping a gnashing
My body shape is changing, I feel it, I (sort of)see it, so I think I need to stop stop judging my progress on the weekly WI alone, because I know from past experience, that judging myself on weight alone is a huge stumbling block.

So. The positive thing to come out of this is, I bought myself a tape measure and intend to use it...oh and a pedometer, but as N02Son remarked dryly, 'Yeah that's great Mum, but you know you actually have to get moving for it to do anything...?' He wasnt being unkind, just stating a fact.
I am thinking of asking him to become my personal trainer actually, as he is always yomping off round the paddocks, and comes back have worked up sweat! I seem to have a mental block about going out walking atm - which is ironic given I work the dogs on the beating line during the shooting season!

I did treat myself to 'Just Dance' for the Wii, and am a bit miffed I haven't had the time to try it out yet, 'cos people rave about it on the WW message boards, and I'm itching to try it out, as I used to really love dancing.

I need to gather my thoughts, regroup those of my brain cells not subject to a mental block (pitifully few atm!) and move forward.... this weight thing isn't going to beat me, this time I WILL win.

Mirror Mirror on the wall.....

....OK lets not go there.....yet!

I was shocked this morning it has to be said, as I am not known for my love of mirrors. I avoid them like the plague since piling on the weight, as I have such a poor body image- something I suspect many people in my position can relate to. The only mirror I ever look is the tiny one I use for doing when I am plucking my eyebrows!
This morning I put on a lemon lightweight jumper, and some jeans - now the jeans I have to confess, I've always been able to pull up without undoing the button, so I wasn't surprised at doing that this morning, but I was pleasantly surprised that they felt so comfortable once on, rather than 'over snug'. It was the jumper that took me most by surprise though, it actually felt quite baggy, compared to the last time I had tried it on (and decided not to wear it cos it drew attention to my stomach), and it was this that prompted me to look in the 'big' mirror this morning.
This morning is the first time I have looked in a mirror and not been repulsed by what I saw - in fact I was quite impressed! I realise its all relative, but to me it was a huge confidence boost, and then to cap it off, quite unprompted, Himself.com (he of few words) paid me a compliment, the detail of which I shall spare you, but suffice to say it reinforced my feeling of worth this morning, and several hours on, I am still basking in the glow of my NSVs :o)

I am finally feeling back on form after that nasty little cold that managed to pole-axe me last week, and although still bunged of nose, no longer find myself trying to breath through my ears!

I have no idea what WI will bring on Thursday, but I am not going to stress about it. Exercise was definitely off the agenda, and I found myself craving sweet things, sweet things...oh and sweet things! Although I mostly succumbed to Panda(ora's Box) licorice, I confess to having demolished a whole pack of Pink and Whites in one sitting..although I did share the wafer bit with the dogs!
I did try and point everything though, and despite going over by 2.5 pts one day, was within points for the rest of my 'below par' induced sugar frenzy.
Drinking water wasn't top of my list over the weekend, but I'm throwing that down my neck again now and hoping for the best!

Even if I don't lose this week, I shall content myself with knowing that my shape is changing for the better, and will push on in any case.
I wish I had the courage to take measurements, but I seem to have a mental block where that is concerned. My WW Leader suggested string, and Himself.com suggested he do the measuring and keep note for me once a month, only giving me the results if I wanted them - the latter appeals to me most, but for some reason I keep finding excuses why I don't have time to be measured at the moment. There is going to be a point in time where Himself.com is seen chasing me round the garden with a tape measure, Benny Hill styleee, because he knows that I am going to regret NOT having done the measurement thing before long.
Any words of wisdom people?

I hope everyone is doing OK, and want you to know how important your blogs are to me. I read them regularly, and find them a great source of inspiration - and even comfort sometimes, when I am having a wibble!
I hope one day my own ramblings can help someone else on their journey.....

Seven(th) Heaven

I've not been feeling myself for the past couple of days, which I had put down to hormones, but yesterday I started feeling as though I was coming down with something. This morning I felt the cold from hell had descended on me (possibly the equivalent of 'man 'flu' ), and I feel like death warmed up. All of a sudden I started getting my wibble on about WI - what if weighing, pointing and guzzling of water wasn't enough? What if I had somehow managed to retain everything I had eaten or drunk over the past week - even the fact I am now on first name terms with every toilet attendant in the South East couldn't convince me that 'something' was shifting!
I felt so low I just wanted to go back to bed and indulge myself in a bit of a grizzle, but my commitment to driving various family members to work/college put paid to that! I drove straight to the WW meeting after the college run, so I didn't have the chance to chicken out, and even though I was early, went straight in (once in I couldn't leave without getting weighed could I!).
My Leader listened to my various excuses, grinned and said cheerily, "Well, we better get you on the scales quick then, - put you out of your misery". The next thing I heard was "OH MY GOD", and my heart sank, I had the wrong specs on so couldn't see the monitor...she quickly added " That's a GOOD 'Oh My God' - you've lost 2.5lbs!"
So - I am the very proud owner of a shiny silver seven, and am on my way to the second :)

Even though I still have that rotten cold, I felt soooo much better on hearing that news! I came home and celebrated with a mug of detox tea and a small packet of iced gems - this girl knows how to live, oh yes!
In the same reckless vein, I thought I'd spoil myself by buying a 'taste the difference' sandwich in Sainsburys, (lunch is usually 'on the hoof' on Thursdays during term time), but having worked out the points, it seems I had no more than if I had planned lunch at home!

I am going to do a nice plate of cous cous with roasted veg for dinner tonight, and gave himself.com the choice of what I am having, or what the boys are having (sausage and mash and beans), and he plumped for what I'm having! The boys are happy to have what I am having for the most part, - they really enjoyed the smoked haddock and poached egg, new pots and green beans last night, but given they are very slim (wouldn't you know that gene would skip a generation!) I like to give them a bit of non healthy fodder once in a while!

Now where's that bottle of water.......

Feeling a bit deflated...but in a good way!

I woke up this morning, feeling a lot less bloated than I have the past couple of days, and my energy levels are on the rise again (don't get excited, they were never very high to begin with) - so I'm feeling a bit more hopeful about WI on Thursday.
Someone had polished off my weetabix..... not that I mind sharing, but I just wish they would let me know so I can get some more in.
Eating Bran Flakes and Banana, just wasn't the same - have Bran Flakes always tasted that sweet I wonder? It isn't that they were unpleasant, its just that I wasn't expecting it, and it seemed like overkill, coupled with the sweetness of the banana (gawd I am sounding like John Torode!).

I've done the college run (small price to pay for living in the middle of nowhere), got the washing on and have just swept and washed the floors, so am having a quick five minutes with a mug of coffee - my third this morning! That's unusual for me, as I try and keep it to two - never mind, I don't think the sky is going to fall in for the sake of an extra mug....its not like I take milk or sugar in it!
This sunny weather really lifts the spirits though doesn't it! I am sitting in the conservatory, with my laptop, dogs flaked out all around me, basking in the warmth of the sunlight. I've got extra dogs for a few days, so every beam of sunlight is being taken advantage of - thankfully my pack are very accepting of interlopers, and are happy to share the prime spots.

My friend is in my thoughts today, as she is burying her son who died suddenly a couple of weeks ago. He was a very fit young Copper - serving the the Met'....he was barely 41.
He went out for a run, came back, complained of feeling unwell, and collapsed and died in front of his 9 yr old daughter, how awful is that.
Its hard for a parent to comprehend the notion of losing a child, of any age, my heart goes out to her and the rest of the family.

If nothing else, it makes me realise that making the most of every day is important, because we only get one shot at it - and you never know when your time is up.

To that end I shall be hitting the Wii fit later (steering clear of sneaky peeking!), as I cant justify the expense of gym membership until the end of the month, which is a bit of a bind, but I cant spend what I don't have! I did manage to order some joggers from cotton traders though in readiness - less than half price too (9.99 with a code), so I am well chuffed.

Right, I suppose I should get on with the rest of my chores - the quicker I get them done, the sooner I get to have some fun on the Wii!!

Meh.

Feel like crap.
I've blown up like a balloon, and feel so washed out and tired....and craving all manner of stuff I wouldnt usually entertain, and am doing my best to resist. I wish my body would make up its mind whether its headed for the menopause or not!

Hopefully I will be back to normal for WI on Thursday, but in recent months the bloating is really quite dramatic, even if it does only last a couple of days - I'm not sure if I am doing myself any favours in knocking back all this water at the moment! Mind you, I've not got the spots this time round - so I cant complain (every cloud eh!)! I never had spots, even as a teenager, but this past year, it seems all the pent up wrath of the blocked pore gods is visited upon me!

Anyway....I have managed to avoid chocolate this time round (can usually take or leave the stuff), and have instead turned my attentions to the delight that is Panda Licorice....I could eat that stuff all day.


Himself.com is away for a few days. He was meant to fly to Amsterdam tomorrow, but due to some inconsiderate volcano action, he has had to drive, which meant him going today and coming back a day later than planned so I have to try and keep myself busy.....
I have saved 6 points already this week, so if boredom overcomes me I can indulge in further Licorice lust!

I cooked the boys a nice Chilli con carne for dinner, followed by a rocky road dessert thing, which went down well. I had ww sausage, veg mash and cider gravy, with a portion of cauliflower cheese (leftover from yesterday), with ww 'rich choc dessert' for pud.....what a waste of time that pud was - I feel quite cheated! Lunch was a Pitta filled with some Feta cheese a portion of black olives and zero pt salad.

Options hot choc and bed for me soon I think.

Yeahbutnobutyeahbut.....

NO!!

This morning saw me getting up at a sparrows fart (that'd be 4.30am in old money) and driving 3hrs in order to help run a show. It wasn't something I could get out of, as I am on the committee, although I do admit to wishing for the plague to descend - not a major plague you understand, but just enough to keep me home. It was not to be.

The problem wasn't the thought of a show itself, but the temptation that lay within. Apart from being entitled to a no holds barred, slap up lunch, (where you just KNOW that even if you were to actually find a lettuce leaf, it would be swimming in cream) there would be vendors aplenty, selling chips, and bacon butties, toasties, and ....well you get the picture.

This time I was prepared.
I anticipated the obstacles, and planned how I was going to overcome them.
Part of the ritual of arriving at a show is to unload the gear, sort the dogs and then go in search of a greasy bacon roll and a strong coffee. Today I didn't have the dogs with me, but that wouldn't detract from the ritual, it would merely mean missing out a stage and getting in the queue earlier!
My alternative: Make and take my own (pointed) BLT sandwich, using ww malted danish so that I'd could have that bacon 'hit' with my coffee.
My next obstacle would be that lunch! I knew I needed to make something I really enjoy, so that I wouldn't feel deprived, and could turn down the 'official' stodge with quiet confidence.....
My alternative: Mini naan bread (warmed, split and then cooled) spread with mango chutney, filled with zero point salad, chicken tikka pieces, and then topped with a drizzle of natural yogurt - my idea of heaven.
A couple of small bananas and iced gems (from multi pack) were on standby for nibbles, and in case the return journey was a nightmare - gotta love that M25!

Although not particularly active physically, I did end up stewarding because we were short staffed, so the grey matter got a bit of a work out!

Unfortunately I didn't get to drink my 2ltrs today, which I have to say was a conscious decision because of the way it is affecting my bladder whilst my body adjusts to the increase. Its really not a good look to excuse yourself from the ring every five minutes!


In the past I may have made the plan, but would never have got round to executing it. I'd have had all good intentions, and then thought 'oh sod it, I'll stop at the services on the way to the show, and/or I'll get something at the show' My intention of course, would be to find a healthy option...but by then it'd be far too late and the temptation would have been to great!

Dinner when I got home was a big plate of beans on toast - instead of the takeaway I would have had in the past.

Oh! I almost forgot, Himself.com had made some shortbread (yum) while I was out cos he said he needed a 'carb rush', and there was 'still some in the tin if I wanted to try some'.
I didnt.

I really am very proud of myself today :0)

Seeing a shrink...

I am delighted (and more than a bit relieved) to report, that despite my sneaky peek wibble of yesterday, I managed to exhibit shrinkage to the tune of 2lb!

Having a sneaky peek is not something I will be indulging in again, as I'm unlikely to forget the effect it had on my psyche.
Quite apart from feeling physically sick (at the thought of seemingly having gained 4lb overnight), my motivation to do half an hour of exercise on the Wii plummeted through the floor, and I had to force myself to complete them - yet the day before when I was feeling smug (cos it said I had lost 2lb), I bounced through it like a spring lamb - probably best not to hang on to that image too long, especially given the wayward nature of my appendages!

I then spent the rest of the day fretting about something I hadn't a hope in hell of changing anyway.
I even hatched a plan, in my tormented mind, whereby I would intercept the WW Leader Karen en route to the hall, rip the plugs and batteries from weighing scales....she would never know it was me 'wot dunnit', because I'd be sporting a balaclava!
Oh yes, I had it all worked out!

Even my quality of sleep was affected, as I was up and down all night. Maybe the amount of water I am drinking atm contributed to that, but I swear it was induced more by 'Wii', than 'wee' ...

This morning I looked forward to WI, with a sense of impending doom. It didn't matter that I knew I had weighed and pointed, increased my water intake and upped the exercise, in my head I was still going to be up those 4lb!

I could have wept with joy when I saw another 2lb had gone, not least because it saw me break into the next stone, - a huge psychological boost for me.

Lesson well and truly learned, I am concentrating on my next mini goal, losing that first half stone!

Wii Wii Wii...all the way home....

Gotta love that Wii plus - its a good way to get back into exercise and kick start the metabolism for someone who is terribly self conscious....like me!
I can't pinpoint the time in my life, which rendered my balance and coordination 'zero', but somehow it happened! That's OK - I still give those exercises a go.....and if you can get APs for laughter, I'll be quids in.
I have to be a bit careful about exercise what I do, as I have had two ops on my spine over the years, and now have arthritis in my ankles and knees, as well as other major joints, - I'm not making excuses for myself, just know I must be realistic about what I can and cant do!
I do get very angry and frustrated that I have come to this, and I know I have to stop beating myself up about it if I am to be successful this time!
Hopefully this time, I can turn the anger and frustration into a positive energy, rather than the negative, self destruct one its been previously.

I am currently doing 30 mins x2 per week on the Wii+, but I am not counting any of that time for activity points at the moment, because I don't feel I am doing some of the activities correctly yet....even though I am knackered by the end of a session.

My favourites so far, are the 'bike ride', the obstacle course, and the jogging plus? one (I did the short jog twice in yesterdays session) - although swinging my arms in big circles as per instruction, proved a bit difficult whilst also trying to deter my bosom frontage from taking off in a different direction!

I'm still trying to get the Wii+ to devise a personal training plan for me, and spent ages yesterday trying to input what I wanted, according to the instructions, but I just couldn't seem to get it to the end stage! I must have been doing something wrong so I'll have another look today, and see if I can sort it myself, if not I'll get one of my 'in house' techies on the case.
Oh, and an added bonus is that I managed to polish off 2ltrs of water yesterday!

I am making a plan, and the Wii+ is only part of it.....the warm up if you like.
Yesterday I chatted at length with the manager of the Gym I used to attend, about different membership options, and today I shall be ringing her back to arrange an induction.
They do have a pay as you go option, but that works out to be quite expensive in the long term, and I'd be paying separately for a swim which would hike the price up even more.
I think the unlimited option is probably best for me - that way I can go to the gym as often as I like, and can also book any of the classes and swim at no further cost.

Himself.com and I were chatting the other day about 'getting older', and I explained to him why losing weight/getting back in shape was something I really needed to make a success of this time round. I don't think it would be fair of me to share his side of the conversation, but suffice to say, he too wants to tone up, and I was both amazed and delighted when he said he would join with me...not least, cos it'll be cheaper still!
That doesn't mean we'll be joined at the hip - he'll go and do his thing, and I'll do mine but we can support and encourage each other.

I loved it when I went before - used to go three of four times a week and got the most amazing buzz from it. What I liked about it too, was that it wasn't just full of 'the beautiful people', there were young and old, all shapes and sizes and the whole atmosphere was relaxed and encouraging. I'm getting butterflies of excitement just thinking about it.

In other news: I've just realised its WI day for me tomorrow (a.m) - my second, and I hope it'll show a loss as I have weighed and pointed everything before it's been allowed to pass my lips.
I need to have lost over a pound in order to crack into the next stone down - that will give me a huge psychological boost. I may have to have another go on the Wii+ this morning, which will also ensure I get some extra fluid into me.

I know a lot of people say you should take body measurements - I haven't done this yet and wonder if its too late to start to get full benefit? My clothes definitely feel more comfortable already especially my jeans, and I seem to be tightening my belt by another notch - so I hope its not just wishful thinking on my part...we shall see.

edited to add:
I decided to weigh myself on the Wii yesterday and today! Yesterday I had (apparently had a loss of 2lbs) and today, I have put 2lbs ON! Really worried about tomorrows WI now....that'll teach me!

Breakfast Epiphanies (with apologies to Audrey Hepburn)

OK, so just looking for the one epiphany, but the the plural scans better!

I am having breakfast issues: the issue being that I keep forgetting to have it - that's not good is it? Don't get me wrong, I mean to have it, because I know its an important meal when trying to lose weight, but life quite often takes over. If I am not ravenously hungry when I get up, it can go out of my mind until the hunger pangs take over about midday-ish.
It doesn't help of course, that I am easily distracted and can start a job, only hours later (usually in the middle of something else) realising I haven't finished it!

Ironically, I remembered I hadn't had breakfast as I was typing this, and dutifully went off and grilled two rashers of bacon, tomato, and two slices of ww malted danish toast - yay me.

I never forget to have my coffee in the mornings, black coffee, two mugs on the trot, which is my only caffeine of the day, unless I treat myself to a Costa Skinny Latte, which I don't count toward my caffeine intake. Its best not to get me started on how I reason that out!
I drink (preferably organic) 'herbal' teas for the most part, the current favourite being Pukka's Aniseed, Fennel and Cardamon, although I also enjoy Nettle, Chamomile, or Mint depending on my mood. I just cant get on with fruit teas, they seem wrong' somehow....
I try to drink the requisite 2ltrs of water a day, but I usually fail, despite liking to drink water!

But I digress (no change there then...)
Is it OK not to have breakfast do you think - as long as points for the day are used or would it be better to try and train myself to remember to eat it? Epiphanies on a postcard please....

Its probably a good thing I did my breakfast this morning, as I now have to go shopping again....at least I wont be tempted to buy stuff I don't need*. I promised to introduce my sons to the delight that is the soft tortilla spread with houmous and filled with roasted vegetables, and the BNS I thought I had in the fridge, isn't!! That'll teach me for being a domestic (kitchen) goddess at the weekend, although a domestic goddess with good memory would help!


* yes, I did type that with my fingers crossed!

Is this it?

I've never blogged before, so this is a whole new experience for me, please be patient!
Where to start? I suppose I need to get this bit over with and see where it takes me....

18 yrs ago I gave birth to my first born, and went on to have two more babies (one of them an 11lb-er) in quick succession.
I wouldnt be without them for the world, and I love them to bits, so I am not complaining, but I have a couple of observations: a) whoever said that breastfeeding helps get the figure back, lied through their teeth, b) judging by its shape, my body seems to think it is still pregnant!

Like many other women, I have dieted at various points throughout my life, but have always fallen 'off the wagon' (something as simple as the wind changing can be the catalyst for me, it seems!). The nearest I came to losing my pre pregnancy weight, was when i started going to the gym, and started smoking again! However, the latter soon put paid to the former, when I found myself unable to breathe (not a good look)!
I know, I know, you dont have to tell me.......!
I am sure you will be delighted to learn, I soon stopped smoking, and not so surprised to learn that I piled the weight back on - and then some. We moved out of the area, shortly after that little 'health kick' and other things seemd to take priority.

But that was ten years go now, and no, I have no intentions of taking up smoking again - if I have to die fat, at least I wont smell of stale nicotine!

I did lose a couple of stone, when I joined weight watchers a year or so ago, then I took a job which involved nightshifts. A combination of being dreadfully unhappy with the job, coupled with a knackered body clock, put paid to any hopes I had to maintaining the loss, and on it all went again - and then some!

So, here I am - again!
Sitting in a chair, feeling like I'm dying from the inside out, isnt a feeling I relish. I'm 50 next year, the menopause is fast approaching, and my promise to myself is that I will have lost 3st by the time I hit the big 'Five-O'. Thats half the amount I need to lose, I think it is do-able, and while I am not going to stress about it, I am determined!
My first WI saw me losing 4lb, which isnt bad considering, I had the easter weekend, my 49th birthday, two nights away to contend with!

I am hoping blogging will help me keep on track, and maybe highlight any areas of 'wibbliness' along the way.

as a great adventurer once said 'I'm going outside...I may be some time'